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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Wisdom of Josh Stark

Josh Stark of Gloria Deluxe and Matty Charles and the Valentines is working at SUNY New Paltz now, which means I got to eat thai food with him the other night. He said lots of things that moved me and made me think. Here are few of the highlights:

on decisions: He recommends poker. Poker teaches you about the way your mind works. You have to give up wanting to win and just play your hand as best you can. You learn about how much we make decisions based on what we want to be true instead of what's actually true.

on relationships: Dudes just don't know the half of what goes on. We think we have some control, but we don't. We think we're making decisions like when to ask someone out or when to break up with someone, but there's all this stuff going on behind the scenes that we know nothing about.

on commitment: I just realized there's stuff that I want, and if I'm going to do it, it's gotta be now, (he's 33 and his wife is 39). As soon as we took the plunge everything just started to fall into place.

on exes: There are dudes that get in a relationship and they think they're in it for the whole package. They sign up for the whole package and they reap the benefits, but deep down these dudes know they're not really in it for the whole package. When it comes time to move in or take the next step they gotta get out. Those are the dudes that aren't going to be able to keep in touch with you and they might even be like "you're so fucked up" because deep down these dudes know that they fucked up and they can't deal.

on babies: (His wife is six months pregnant.) I realized about a month ago that that kid's well being is more important to me than my own.

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